Welcome to the world Harry! In these posts I shall try to tell you what you mean to me and some of the many thoughts about life and growing up that you inspire in me. Maybe you’ll never read these pages but it felt important to me to get these thoughts written down.
It seemed like the day of your birth came up on us fast even though it was all planned. I had worked the weekend before and was quite tired as we went to the hospital on Monday morning. We were both filled with a mixture of excitement and apprehension and didn’t really know what we were supposed to be feeling. We just did what we were told. We still had no inkling of how your arrival was going to change our lives- I remember I was booking cases with the charge nurse to do later that evening.
As we went into the theatre I remember worrying for your mum. She was incredibly brave as always and if she was scared she didn’t let on.
Everything happened so fast and suddenly you were in our arms, blue and screaming. The screaming worked and you turned pink promptly and I was to hear that screaming a lot more in the months to come!
They put you in my arms and I remember checking everything before the paediatrician got you. I relaxed when I counted the right number of digits and saw a normal shaped head!
We would continually marvel at the miracle of life and all the little behaviours that are coded into us but the first example I remember was in the recovery room where they put you on your mother’s chest. She was half fainting from low blood pressure from the spinal but you were climbing on her looking for the breast when only 10 minutes old.
In the weeks that followed the COVID crisis increased in Melbourne and we spent all our days together, your mother and I barely working and no one going out- you must have thought there were only 3 people in our little world! These were the happiest days where we got to see every little change in you. There was still a lot of anxiety- every thing gave us cause to worry- is he eating enough? Too much? You continued to have the hiccups fairly frequently- you had had these in the womb and it used to make me worry that something was wrong, but now that you were a little guy hiccuping and seeming pretty unfazed by it I could see there was nothing to worry about.
We were continually amazed by the kindness and engagement of our friends who sent you presents and demanded photographs- despite it being one of the most challenging period in most people’s lives. We realised how much a baby means to everyone and how true the old adage “it takes a village to raise a child” is.
Gradually we found our rhythm and started to realise how much life with you was changing our world view. It made me feel much more gentleness towards my own mother and appreciate all that she must have done for me- the things you will no doubt take for granted as I did. The love we have for you is like no other- over night we went from not being able to imagine our lives with you to not being able to imagine our lives without you- and it’s the best feeling!